Monday, October 20, 2008
2nd weekend
Tanya's 2nd weekend at home was pretty challenging for us. The nights were a repeat of the sleepless night we had earlier :( My parents came and commented that baby still very "yellow" (jaundiced). So we'll be seeing Dr S Ng again the coming week. Also will be busy arranging all the stuff for baby's first month
Friday, October 17, 2008
Weekend!
Its 6.30pm, Friday. Counting down to Ming coming home and start of weekend! Today is not so good because baby slept all day. Really worried her clock will revert back to night wakes! I hope not! Still trying to wake her up after her feeding.
Weekends are good. In laws will take a break and my parents will be over instead. Best of all, Ming will be around all day :) Still I don't hope that her clock will revert lor. Now finding ways to wake my sleepy baby
Weekends are good. In laws will take a break and my parents will be over instead. Best of all, Ming will be around all day :) Still I don't hope that her clock will revert lor. Now finding ways to wake my sleepy baby
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Its been 2 weeks
Finally! I'm halfway through confinement! I honestly can't wait to regain my freedom after my confinement. Perhaps I'm too idealistic, as I had been before I had given birth. I had not thought it would be so tough trying to bring up the baby the way I wanted then. Now I know and try to be more flexible. Likewise, maybe I will regret not having the extra pairs of hands once confinement is over. But maybe she will be easier to handle once she's older too? Well, there's always hope :)
Last 2 nights were good. I only woke up twice a night for nursing. As compared to nights before that where I had to stay up all night. Maybe we managed to switch her clock to our day-night cycle already. So now the days are slightly tougher. Previously, she was able to fall asleep quite easily after a feed. Now she stays awake, which was great coz we got to play with her. But after that when she needs to be put to sleep, thats where the problem comes in. I didin't realise it was so hard for an infant to sleep, without either nursing her to sleep or rocking her into deep slumber. Nonetheless, I was relieved by the fact it was happening in the day time and not the night.
Nursing periods haven't really gotten any shorter either, despite my best hopes. But I managed to find some nice anime (Vampire Knight and Time of Eve) to accompany me while my baby was feeding. Only the night time I couldn't watch the anime when nursing as I was not supposed to over stimulate her. Things are looking up and I haven't broken down since she'd shifted her clock :)
Last 2 nights were good. I only woke up twice a night for nursing. As compared to nights before that where I had to stay up all night. Maybe we managed to switch her clock to our day-night cycle already. So now the days are slightly tougher. Previously, she was able to fall asleep quite easily after a feed. Now she stays awake, which was great coz we got to play with her. But after that when she needs to be put to sleep, thats where the problem comes in. I didin't realise it was so hard for an infant to sleep, without either nursing her to sleep or rocking her into deep slumber. Nonetheless, I was relieved by the fact it was happening in the day time and not the night.
Nursing periods haven't really gotten any shorter either, despite my best hopes. But I managed to find some nice anime (Vampire Knight and Time of Eve) to accompany me while my baby was feeding. Only the night time I couldn't watch the anime when nursing as I was not supposed to over stimulate her. Things are looking up and I haven't broken down since she'd shifted her clock :)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Week 2 - Ming starts work
Today Ming starts work and he's been such a big help and source of support to me that since last night, I've been having seperation anxiety. Nights are really bad now. i suspect my milk flow isn't enough for the girl because she keeps waking up for more. Midnight to 3am, I'll stay awake trying my best to give her the nourishment she craves. But spirit is willing yet flesh is weak. It breaks my heart to hear her frustrated cries as she tries to suckle from me. Added on the frustration of tiredness and the worry that Ming needs his sleep for work tomorrow, I really tither on the brink of depression. I keep asking him to go ahead and sleep, afterall him being awake will not help my flow much. I hope he will be able to do ok in work today and not fall sick or anything!
The past week had been really crazy and now then I get the time to come online to do anything at all. I should be sleeping I know, coz baby will be wanting her milk soon. So I'll just post up a little bit of updates and leave the rest for another day. Hopefully the day will come soon that I will not feel so inadequately prepared for motherhood.
The past week had been really crazy and now then I get the time to come online to do anything at all. I should be sleeping I know, coz baby will be wanting her milk soon. So I'll just post up a little bit of updates and leave the rest for another day. Hopefully the day will come soon that I will not feel so inadequately prepared for motherhood.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
First week and PD visit
First week at home was a huge transition for us. Firstly, no more checking baby into the nursery if we cannot manage hahaha. You wouldn't believe how useful that can be. Another thing I realised in retrospect is that the first 2 days was probably the easiest days. Can't speak for all babies but Tanya started her night appetite just at the end of the first week. I could be up from 11pm to 3am feeding her but she would not be satisfied enough to sleep. Last night I was up til 5am. I'm not sure if the problem lies with a low supply at night or her ravenous hunger. Or was it that she didn't want to feed at all? I cannot decipher her cryptic cries despite many articles assuring me that i will "eventually" learn to decipher them. When I asked around, many mother stsill couldn't decipher their baby's cries.
But one thing I realised, no matter how much sleep I get in the day, it couldn't make up for the loss in the night. At night, I am tired and frustrated when feeding her. Sometimes as she fell asleep at my boob, I too would doze off then suddenly wake up fearing I would drop her. Wonder if that has anything to do with her restlessness too?
Oh yes and breastfeeding was most tiring on my weak arm muscles (the lack-thereof) too. Shan came by and suggested the breastfeeding pillow. That day itself, Ming popped by to help me buy one. I have to say, it helps leaps and bounds, although it could be better, like if it could totally support her. haha ok I know I asking too much :P
We also had to bring Tanya out twice in the first week. Once for her PD visit. Look at her happily sleeping while we took her weight :) The other was for my gynea visit at Mount Elizabeth where we also wanted to register her birth. The outings went very smoothly. The PD visit she was sleeping most of the way, while at Mount E, she was feeding most of it. Thank heavens for discreet nursing clothes and bras!
But one thing I realised, no matter how much sleep I get in the day, it couldn't make up for the loss in the night. At night, I am tired and frustrated when feeding her. Sometimes as she fell asleep at my boob, I too would doze off then suddenly wake up fearing I would drop her. Wonder if that has anything to do with her restlessness too?
Oh yes and breastfeeding was most tiring on my weak arm muscles (the lack-thereof) too. Shan came by and suggested the breastfeeding pillow. That day itself, Ming popped by to help me buy one. I have to say, it helps leaps and bounds, although it could be better, like if it could totally support her. haha ok I know I asking too much :P
We also had to bring Tanya out twice in the first week. Once for her PD visit. Look at her happily sleeping while we took her weight :) The other was for my gynea visit at Mount Elizabeth where we also wanted to register her birth. The outings went very smoothly. The PD visit she was sleeping most of the way, while at Mount E, she was feeding most of it. Thank heavens for discreet nursing clothes and bras!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Birth Story
I'm blogging this on day 12th of Tanya's birth so details may seem a bit fuzzy. Let's see, cramps had been coming and going ever since 1st October. By 2nd, it was starting to get a bit more painful so when Ming came home,I asked him to time it. He thought it seemed dangerously close but it still seemed like my menses cramps to me ( I get bad cramps sometimes ) so we headed to his parents place for dinner. Dinner was quite a painful affair as I had to pause each time the cramps came. So we decided that maybe we should be admitted tonight.
We packed and set off for hospital after finishing the silly cop show I was following. I was quite worried that Ming might be too anxious so I kept asking him to drive slowly. A steady car actually was better than speed and a bumpy ride in my condition then. It had been some time since Ming driven to Mt Alvernia and he took a wrong turn so we did a brief detour.
On arrival, the normal registration counter was closed so we had to be admitted through 24 hour A&E. I was put in the delivery ward while Ming handled administration. One of the senior nurses checked my dilation and it was at 2.5cm. It was damn bloody shockingly painful as it was the first time I had my cervix checked, and she didn't even bother to warn me about it. I bled quite a bit after that so I was busy cursing the nurse. I know she was rough because some time later, another nurse's check didn't hurt quite that much. After confirming I was actually in labour, I was given some laxative and strapped to CTG. After some time, the nurses came in to say my labour wasn't really progressing, so I should get some sleep. So I was taken off the CTG and tried to sleep through the cramps. Ming had a miserable chair in a corner to sleep too. Pain was bad and I asked for some form of relief. I was given the gas mask which in the end, I didn't take anyway.
At about 5+am, my dilation was only 3cm. So under doctor's orders I was placed on IV drip of Syntocinon to speed up dilation. Yes, at 0.5cm after 5 hours, I cannot imagine how long I would have had to wait otherwise. I also inquired about Epidural and I was told if I wanted it, I should tell them soon, because it happened one of the doctors was coming to administer it to a few other women. So I opted in. The epidural administraion was about 6am and was kind of annoying, as I expected (from stories). I was asked to curl into a tight ball which seemed impossible with my huge belly. But eventually it got done, and I cheered up quickly as the pain subsided. Fortunately too, as Ming reported later that the cramps were off the CTG charts.
At about 7.30am, Dr Wee walked cheerily in and checked my dilation. This time, it didn't hurt at all, thanks to the epidural. She was happy with my progress as dilation achieved about 7-8cm and at the peak of the contractions, almost 9+cm. Unfortunately, my baby's head was too high to start labour. So we had to wait for baby to descend and Dr Wee reduced my Epidural so I could assist in pushing. She and Ming went off to have a quick breakfast while I tried to coax baby to lower. Eventually when she came back, did some checks and decided to deliver the baby then. It was kinda scary coz the moment she announced start work, and the nurses started dressing up in their gloves and all and started to close in on me.
The pushing was really tough because I couldn't really feel the contractions. Before the delivery started, I could only vaguely feel the contractions at their most peak. But during delivery, cannot feel leh. So I had only their prompts to go by. Inistially, I tried to push hard as I breathed out slowly, but the nurses and doctor told me cannot, had to hold breath :( After about 3 pushes breathing out, I caved and pushed with my breath held. Think it took another 4 pushes? It was really hard to push not feeling anything, but doctor said nothing wrong with my pushing. Just that baby was facing skyward (they should face ground for easier delivery) so no choice I had to push with all my might. When finally the baby was out, I was more nauseous than anything. Doctor told me was normal due to some drug they administered (yes, I was a pin cushion of drugs, until I didn't even know what drugs I was on; my IV drip had multiple sources of fluids, while the epidural was still being administered to my back). As Ming and the nurses checked the baby etc, all I could do was try not to barf, and of course feel very relieved its all over. I reported that I'm stopping at one. Doctor laughed and assured Ming that all the mothers said that during labour :)
I was allowed another hour to rest in the delivery ward before being pushed to my ward. We were told that they were full house, both the delivery wards and all the single wards were taken, so we had to be placed temporarily in a double ward. As I was being wheeled to my ward after being unglamourously hefted out of the delivery ward, one of the single rooms was made available so we managed to grab it. Ward 327, St John's Ward and Our Lady's. So we were pretty lucky to manage to grab it.
We packed and set off for hospital after finishing the silly cop show I was following. I was quite worried that Ming might be too anxious so I kept asking him to drive slowly. A steady car actually was better than speed and a bumpy ride in my condition then. It had been some time since Ming driven to Mt Alvernia and he took a wrong turn so we did a brief detour.
On arrival, the normal registration counter was closed so we had to be admitted through 24 hour A&E. I was put in the delivery ward while Ming handled administration. One of the senior nurses checked my dilation and it was at 2.5cm. It was damn bloody shockingly painful as it was the first time I had my cervix checked, and she didn't even bother to warn me about it. I bled quite a bit after that so I was busy cursing the nurse. I know she was rough because some time later, another nurse's check didn't hurt quite that much. After confirming I was actually in labour, I was given some laxative and strapped to CTG. After some time, the nurses came in to say my labour wasn't really progressing, so I should get some sleep. So I was taken off the CTG and tried to sleep through the cramps. Ming had a miserable chair in a corner to sleep too. Pain was bad and I asked for some form of relief. I was given the gas mask which in the end, I didn't take anyway.
At about 5+am, my dilation was only 3cm. So under doctor's orders I was placed on IV drip of Syntocinon to speed up dilation. Yes, at 0.5cm after 5 hours, I cannot imagine how long I would have had to wait otherwise. I also inquired about Epidural and I was told if I wanted it, I should tell them soon, because it happened one of the doctors was coming to administer it to a few other women. So I opted in. The epidural administraion was about 6am and was kind of annoying, as I expected (from stories). I was asked to curl into a tight ball which seemed impossible with my huge belly. But eventually it got done, and I cheered up quickly as the pain subsided. Fortunately too, as Ming reported later that the cramps were off the CTG charts.
At about 7.30am, Dr Wee walked cheerily in and checked my dilation. This time, it didn't hurt at all, thanks to the epidural. She was happy with my progress as dilation achieved about 7-8cm and at the peak of the contractions, almost 9+cm. Unfortunately, my baby's head was too high to start labour. So we had to wait for baby to descend and Dr Wee reduced my Epidural so I could assist in pushing. She and Ming went off to have a quick breakfast while I tried to coax baby to lower. Eventually when she came back, did some checks and decided to deliver the baby then. It was kinda scary coz the moment she announced start work, and the nurses started dressing up in their gloves and all and started to close in on me.
The pushing was really tough because I couldn't really feel the contractions. Before the delivery started, I could only vaguely feel the contractions at their most peak. But during delivery, cannot feel leh. So I had only their prompts to go by. Inistially, I tried to push hard as I breathed out slowly, but the nurses and doctor told me cannot, had to hold breath :( After about 3 pushes breathing out, I caved and pushed with my breath held. Think it took another 4 pushes? It was really hard to push not feeling anything, but doctor said nothing wrong with my pushing. Just that baby was facing skyward (they should face ground for easier delivery) so no choice I had to push with all my might. When finally the baby was out, I was more nauseous than anything. Doctor told me was normal due to some drug they administered (yes, I was a pin cushion of drugs, until I didn't even know what drugs I was on; my IV drip had multiple sources of fluids, while the epidural was still being administered to my back). As Ming and the nurses checked the baby etc, all I could do was try not to barf, and of course feel very relieved its all over. I reported that I'm stopping at one. Doctor laughed and assured Ming that all the mothers said that during labour :)I was allowed another hour to rest in the delivery ward before being pushed to my ward. We were told that they were full house, both the delivery wards and all the single wards were taken, so we had to be placed temporarily in a double ward. As I was being wheeled to my ward after being unglamourously hefted out of the delivery ward, one of the single rooms was made available so we managed to grab it. Ward 327, St John's Ward and Our Lady's. So we were pretty lucky to manage to grab it.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Officially Overdue
Some gross (bloody) writings ahead. warning: do not read this if u have a weak stomach or are unready for what motherhood means
Its 2nd Oct, and baby Tanya is officially late. Logged in to see what my ticker would say. One of them says, "I should be here!" LOLx... the other is stuck at 1 day to go! haha
Anyway, couple days ago, just after I last posted, I have the first signs of show. The first sign of show was a transparent mucous, subsequently it became quite tainted with blood, varying from red to brown til today. So its panty liners for me, after 9 months. haha took me a while to dig them out! Along with the pads, came the cramps. The cursed, oh so familiar pain. It had kept me up the last 2 nights as I struggle to find some comfort. Even if Tanya is not inclined to show, I'm starting to be tempted to induce.
These 'false' contractions are described in my notes as 'mild' cramps. Geez, I shudder to think what the painful full blown cramps will be like. I thank medical sciences for the discovery of epidural! Anyway, what all this means, is that she's probably gonna be out any time the next week. But I'm guessing if i'm not in hospital by saturday, my next appointment, probably inducing is the way to go? Dolly will be checking for my dilation then. Let's see what she recommends.
I recall that the show started couple days after I started taking the red raspberry leaf tea, recommended to preggies for its labour-shortening ability. I also read that it induces labour. Now I'm starting to wonder if that is the cause for all the cramping. I have been taking a cup a day, in fairly dilute proportions, but decided to stop today and tomorrow to see if the cramps subside a bit. X-fingers.
Its 2nd Oct, and baby Tanya is officially late. Logged in to see what my ticker would say. One of them says, "I should be here!" LOLx... the other is stuck at 1 day to go! haha
Anyway, couple days ago, just after I last posted, I have the first signs of show. The first sign of show was a transparent mucous, subsequently it became quite tainted with blood, varying from red to brown til today. So its panty liners for me, after 9 months. haha took me a while to dig them out! Along with the pads, came the cramps. The cursed, oh so familiar pain. It had kept me up the last 2 nights as I struggle to find some comfort. Even if Tanya is not inclined to show, I'm starting to be tempted to induce.
These 'false' contractions are described in my notes as 'mild' cramps. Geez, I shudder to think what the painful full blown cramps will be like. I thank medical sciences for the discovery of epidural! Anyway, what all this means, is that she's probably gonna be out any time the next week. But I'm guessing if i'm not in hospital by saturday, my next appointment, probably inducing is the way to go? Dolly will be checking for my dilation then. Let's see what she recommends.
I recall that the show started couple days after I started taking the red raspberry leaf tea, recommended to preggies for its labour-shortening ability. I also read that it induces labour. Now I'm starting to wonder if that is the cause for all the cramping. I have been taking a cup a day, in fairly dilute proportions, but decided to stop today and tomorrow to see if the cramps subside a bit. X-fingers.
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